today, being good friday, i ate thai green beef curry and drank beer. i didn’t work. for the first good friday, probably since i was in college. which is going back many years. certainly, since i had a “proper” job. in my studenty, minimum wage jobs, i probably did not work all of them, but i definitely worked some.

it was also a day when the bizarre happened. i got on a bus in limerick. woke up in charleville. i was sitting right beind the driver. i observed passengers disembarking the bus. a young woman, probably a student, tired to disembark the bus. on her way she stopped to tell the driver something. she was crying, and she couldn’t get it out. “Never mind” she said. The driver said “OK” after previously saying “Are you OK, what is the matter?” in response to her tears. Two minutes later, she was back on the bus, minus her bags, having composed herself.

“I’d just like to tell you, I got on the bus in Galway (we were now in Charleville, Co. Cork) and well, there was a guy sitting next to me, and he opened his zipper, and oh, the rest is just disgusting, I just wanted you to know. He’s still on the bus, he’s wearing a red t-shirt and jeans”

The driver, clearly was slightly stunned. As was I. She has been on the bus since Galway, when did this start? I was full of sympaty for this young woman, who faced with some sicko’s penis, was too shocked to do anything. There are many of us, who, at some stage or another in life, have been flashed. But, sitting on a bus. Man right next to you. Inside or outside seat? Outside seat, easy to jump up and scream, “Put your penis away you sick sick man”. On the inside seat, trapped, what would you do? Trapped. Shocked. Frozen. You might think thoughts like He could have a knife. I could scream and he could rip my throat open before anyone had a chance to rescue me. Totally extreme scenario, but, man sitting next to me with penis out of his trousers. He is obviously deranged.

Anyway, the driver dismbarked the bus to follow her out. Leaving the door open. I sat in my seat, and decided to text Seamus to let him know (he had dropped me to the bus) what was going on. Just because I couldn’t believe it, and wanted to tell someone. Mid text, I observed man in red t-shirt and jeans approaching the front of the bus in the mirrors. That is him, I thought. The sicko, and now he is going to escape. Because the door was open. Surely, they will catch him at the door, except, they must have been standing away from the door, at this stage talking to a guard, and did not notice him get off. So he escaped. Man who should be locked up, on the loose. I watched him cross the street and walk into a park. I should have run after him, or alerted the people outside (driver, guard, woman). I wish I had. I didn’t.

I generally, like men, I married one, I’ve never been exposed to anything abusive. But, men, (of this man’s ilk) make me wonder what in God’s name goes on in their heads. I’m not going to lie. My heart always sinks when I’m on the train and a man sits next to me. But, generally, I don’t object, because four people sit facing each other, so there is safety in numbers. On a bus, I have been known to say “No, this seat is taken, my friend will be right back!”. My reasons are simplistic enough. Men take up more space and are loud breathers. Both these facts annoy me.

I now have a third reason. (Some) Men are such fucking assholes that they will flash someone on a FULL bus when surrounded by people.

So, sorry, men. I have a new plan. Unless I know you, you will never again sit next to me. If asked why, I will reply “Because, how do I know you aren’t going to take your penis out of your pants and flash me! Or worse still, proceed to masturbate.”

I know now it can happen, so I will take precautions to protect myself from being that young woman on a bus from Galway to Charleville.