on nassau street today, there was plywood where on friday there had been glass. there was blackened concrete where cars were burnt out. there was broken glass that had escaped being swept up by virtue of being ground into the gaps in the tarmac. most amazing of all, was the melted glass of the coyle hamilton building where nearly all the windows had to be replaced. it looked like business as usual inside, whilst glaziers worked to replace the windows.

scariest of all were reports i heard in work from the staff of the centra in westland row. apparently some staff there were attacked and beaten up. reports of broken arms, black eyes etc. attacks on innocent shop workers point out the skanger element running amok for no other reason than they had opportunity. certainly, from all the photograhs i saw it was the tracksuit brigade who were most involved in all the clashes. how many of them would be even able to tell you who geoffrey donaldson is?

even scarier than scariest of all was a person who sits opposite me telling me that whilst he didn’t condone the violence, he thought that those responsible for allowing “those marchers from up north” down to march in the first place should be shot. they were the ones to blame. there i was thinking i worked amongst moderates and well educated people. that we all understood what it means to work and live in a democracy. but it seems i’m wrong. about one colleague at least.

i’ve seen parades that were a lot more offensive to me than what the love ulster paraders were planning to march in. what they were planning did not offend me. for one thing, they weren’t carrying guns (plastic or not), for another, there weren’t hidden under balaclava’s, for another, they weren’t marching through the city meanicingly wearing their balaclava’s and carrying their guns. which i’ve seen the republican’s do.

i am from ireland. i grew up in the twenty six counties. i don’t give two hoots about northern ireland and who it belongs to. i support freedom of speech, expression and the right to gather to protest. loyalists are welcome in my city any time they want to come down here. i live here, i pay taxes, i am law abiding. loyalist is just a label. they are just people at the end of the day, and most people have suffered in life. i voted for the good friday agreement, that was supposed to be about tolerance. where’s the tolerance?

I’ve been in blitz mode recently. It started with a lap top and continued with packing up an apartment. I have been surprisingly ruthless in my ability to let go of my past.

Take the lap top. A lap top, purchased back in 2001 which was getting a little creaky and a little unhappy about all the software installed on it, not to mention two OSs. It needed to be de-junked. I dejunked it. In the midst of packing, comes sorting out. Included amongst various CDs (yes, I am old fashioned, I still have some CDs, I have not ripped my entire (somewhat pathetic music collection), were the original OS CDs that came with the lap top. Safe in the knowledge that I had saved all the stuff I wanted (various photos and old college projects) onto an external hard drive some time back, it was with a clear conscience that I inserted the system CDs and reinstalled the OS.

I cannot describe how good it felt. I cannot describe how my lap top is now purring. Even though it is five years old. In a past life, I held onto remnants of life I had lived, for various reasons. Didn’t do my best, could have tried harder, didn’t enjoy the moment, didn’t get the full advantage from what I was doing at the time. Must keep momento because maybe later I’ll look back and return to complete fully what it was I was supposed to do at the time.

Nowadays I am in a place where I can look back and say, in my recent past, I lived the moment, I did my best, I worked my ass off, I gained as much as I could. At least in regard to what was in my lap top and this apartment we are in the midst of clearing our clutter from.

I blitzed it. Safe in the knowledge that I was blitzing goals I set five years ago that have been achieved and ghosts that have been laid to rest.

When you are happy with who you are at a point in time, you gain the freedom to blitz, to not hold onto every receipt, every momento, every book, every newspaper article. Today I came across a box that has remained untouched since I was made redundant from a job I didn’t feel ready to leave when the time came. Everything on my desk came with me. Now, nothing, bar a stapler and a pen holder remains. The pen holder was mine anyway. I have moved on. I no longer mourn that job. For months and months I did.

Freedom from myself is my temporary friend. I feel like I could even go further, that when it comes to opening boxes in our new abode, I will dejunk and declutter again. Further dejunk and declutter.

Two more weeks of packing to go. Clothes have not really even entered the equation. I plan a trinny and susannah. I want to blitz my wardrobe, to have a smaller wardrobe of nicer things. To free myself of clothes I haven’t worn for years.

I am ready. New phase of life. I am ready. I am waiting.

One of the great difficulties as someone who works 40 hours a week, monday to friday, it the lack of services available on a saturday.

Packaging Boxes - delivery only or collect between 0900-1700h monday to friday are the major annoyance at the moment. We did eventually find one place that opens at 0800hrs, allowing collection prior to going to work.

Similarly with furniture deliveries that will be taking place when we move into the new duplex, if we ever move into the new duplex, I know that we will only be able to get the stuff delivered on monday to friday.

Carpet measurements - so far, all the places I have look tell me their men can only measure on monday to friday, between nine to five.

Timber floor deliveries, tiling deliveries, monday to friday only.

It is so annoying, I could ask in work if I can “work from home” for a day, but, whilst that is not currently an issue, it will be when we move into the new place, where, we will have to wait two to three months for a new phoneline according to Eircom and six to eight weeks according to BT. How can I work from home to facilitate deliveries, measurings, having workmen in the house etc when there is no broadband!!

*Sigh* Life would be easier if some businesses (including my own) considered offering a flexible saturday option to their employees. i.e. swap a week day working for a saturday working, if even on a half day basis.

On another note, Eircom’s delays are just ridiculous. When I told my mother she was astounded. “That is how long it took in the 1960s. You can’t be serious!”.
“Pefectly, even though everything is prewired apparently!”
“Two to three months? Unbelievable!”