My car turned four in May. If it were a child, it would be starting school in September, alas, it is not a child, it is a car. There is worse for it. There is a similarity. Every parent is nervous about their child’s first day at school, and similarly, I am nervous about my car’s first NCT. I am told my car will have to go through this exam every two years.

In preparation for it’s NCT, I brought my car for its annual service. The car is serviced every year by the dealers who insist that servicing your car in dealerships service centers, using GENUINE Volkswagen parts (SK, the mechanical engineer assures me this is a load of HORSE-SHITE) will ensure a car’s longevity and ensure proper care and attention to its needs and well being. Except, I am starting to think they are full of bullshit. The car dealerships with service racket on the side in any case.

I brought my car to the same dealership last year. Whilst there I said to them, “Please check the brakes, please tighten the hand-brake and please make sure that the brake fluid is changed, it is down in the Volkswagen schedule in the manual that came with the car as needing those things done. I am no mechanical engineer, but I know how to read the fucking manual. “RTFM” is not something that ever needs to be said to me.

Anyway, after the car service, I got a phone call from Ian, the mechanic to say
“Your brakes and disks need replacing, the disks are really quite badly worn.”
“The brakes and the disks? That’s odd, how can the disks be so badly worn, I specifically asked you to check them last year, that was only five thousand miles ago. ” ( and you didn’t bring them to my attention when I paid you three hundred and ninety two euro for giving my car a full service). I said, OK but then thought better of it. I rang a few places like advance pit stop and kwik-fit and asked them “How much for new disks and pads on a Volkswagen polo?” “Um, two hundred euro and we’ll need the car for at least an hour.”

So I rang back the well known Volkswagen garage where they service the cars and put GENUINE parts in them. I wanted to know how much they were going to charge me. I spoke to a manager, working in the office.

“How much for the brake pads and disk work?” I asked.
“Two hundred euro” the manager said.
“OK, so how much in total for the car service and the brake disks and pads.”
“Um, let me look that up”. ….. listening to tap tapping on a keyboard.
“Um, three ninety”.
“So less than four hundred ALL INCLUSIVE?”
“Yes, three ninety”.
“OK then, go ahead.”

So fair enough I thought. Imagine my surprise when later that afternoon I got a phone call from Ian. “Mrs. your car is ready and the total bill is seven HUNDRED and eleven euro and some cents.”
Silence from me.
“Mrs. ” (note he was calling me MRS even though I am a Miss and will only ever be MS even after I am married.
“You can’t be serious.” I said, when I rang this morning, I was told it would cost an additional two hundred euro on top of the service. So where are you getting seven hundred euro from? I was told the service on its own cost two hundred euro. Are you telling me that brake work costs an additional FIVE HUNDRED euro? You can’t be serious. No way am I paying that.”
“Who told you four hundred?” he asked?
“The manager, in your office”
“Uh, let me check that and get back to you.”
“Fine” I said, “but lets be clear, I am not paying seven hundred euro. That is extortion.”

So two minutes later, Ian again, “Six hundred”.
“No way, you said four hundred.”
“OK, let me get back to you again.”

So twenty minutes later, man in office, who had told me two hundred euro in the morning.
“I’m sorry, and I am acknowledging my mistake, but when I told you two hundred euro, that didn’t include labour.”
“Well, that is your mistake, not mine, why should I pay for it?, I wouldn’t have agreed to the work if I thought it was going to cost an additional five hundred euro, I was quoted two hundred elsewhere all in, that is what you quoted me, that is what I expect you to stick to.”
“I didn’t give you a quote.”
“Yes you did, I asked you specifically how much for all the work, inclusive. You said, four hundred euro”.
“Well, I can have the disks and brakes taken out and leave it as just a service”
“OK then, please do that, five hundred euro is extortionate, I am not going to pay that.”

Realising his mistake in saying the brake pads and disks could be taken out, thereby costing his mechanics more time, he came down. But not to four hundred. Still to five hundred and not a penny less. I feel ripped off. What the hell are garages playing at? Whilst paying my bill, another lady in front of me was picking up her car, additionally, she had been sitting directly behind me on the bus to the garage, so I got to hear her story about brake pads and disks and how her service was costing five hundred and forty euro. So, how exactly do these garages come up with their bills. It sounded like similar work on the same make of car (although perhaps different models) and her bill was two hundred euro less than mine to start with. Did my mechanic take his lunch brake and put that on the labour hours calculation? What can you do? Stay in a garage and with your stop watch count the minutes and seconds that mechanics spend working on your car. All the parts for my car cost about two hundred and fifty euro, so where were they getting the four hundred and fifty euro for labour from? It is a joke.

My car had better bloody pass its NCT tomorrow. If not, I think I’ll scream with frustration. In addition to the service it needed two new tyres, tracking and aligning of the wheels which came to one hundred and seventy euro.

Is the motorist in Ireland being fleeced left, right and center? Does a bear……….